In Part 1, the conversation focused on feeling safe in an environment and on paying attention to other people’s behavior.
In all dialogues you enter, you must be able to step out of the conversation content, and you can do so through deep breathing or stepping into the bathroom to calm down. Whatever it takes to get centered.
It is important to remember what you hope to gain from a meeting and to create a safe environment. Recognizing and starting a dialogue by inviting the person or persons to discuss the goals of the conversation is a good way to start.
In all dialogues you enter, you must be able to step out of the conversation content,
It is important to remember what you hope to gain from a meeting and to create a safe environment. Inviting the person or persons to discuss the goals of the conversation is a good way to start. Finding a mutual purpose can help everyone feel safe. When a mutual purpose is at risk, work, look for defensiveness, hidden agendas, accusations, and then come back to the same topic.
Having empathy with someone makes it challenging to disrespect them. Self-observation will help you see your part in contributing to a situation. When it happens, you can apologize. If the apology is sincere, you will have returned the conversation to the safe zone. If, through a misunderstanding, someone gets offended or sees you negatively, it is time to use Contrast.
Contrast confirms your respect or clarifies your purpose.
Contrast addresses concerns that you don’t respect others or have a malicious purpose.
Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, Al Switzler, Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High. McGraw-Hill, 2002